According to an american research the success rate of long distance relationships is just 58%. So the good news is no matter how bad your situation is right now, THE ODDS ARE WITH YOU. Me and my partner have been in a long distance relationship for almost 10 years now. We started dating in high school and went into a long distance relationship when both of us went for higher education. Even now, we work in different cities.
We have starkly different personalities and professions. But if you were to ask us: Do long distance relationships work?We would say YES! They do. Provided you keep some simple things in mind.
But before we start with tips for long distance relationships, do remember that communication can increase the impact of these actions by 10x. You cannot just be doing these things in your own head and expect miracles. You need to make sure your partner notices these and even joins you as you go along.
Schedule your time with each other well
We often get to hear, “you don’t give me enough time” in long distance relationships. The major reason for this is that we don’t know what the other person is doing at different points throughout the day. We often feel that instead of doing a particular activity that you don’t that is necessary, they could have spent time with you. This might not be true in many cases. Even if we might have some time at hand, it is not always necessary that we would like to talk to a single person. Remember, you’re two different individuals so you can have your own space when needed. If this is one of the major reasons for your quarrel, the best thing to do is keeping a certain portion of the day for each other. You can always tell your partner in advance if something comes up.
Make each other aware of your goals and how far you can Adjust
Communicate. Keep sharing your everyday goals and progress with each other. One of the best long distance relationship conversation topics could be this. It will always help you understand each other better in many ways and also give you a sense of belonging. You could lay down personal goals for yourself along with common goals for the relationship and work towards achieving both TOGETHER as a TEAM. It’ll keep you both focused and motivated to get things done on time.
Personalize- Show your partner that you care
It is very important to express your feelings to each other. The very first thing that makes you fall for one another is expression of love. To keep a long distance relationship going, you need to think of how to keep things interesting in a long distance relationship. Since you’re not going to be physically present around each other, it is important to express your care through actions and words. Stay a little longer to talk than usual whenever you think your partner’s feeling low. Getting your partner’s favorite dessert delivered when they feel low, could be another great gesture, after all good food as a small surprise always lightens up the mood.
The duration of conversations don’t matter, The quality does
Don’t measure the time spent together by minutes, talking for 30 minutes every day about random topics won’t keep you feeling a part of each other’s lives for long. Discuss about your day, listen about your partner’s work and reciprocate. Keep conversations real and personal. Discuss about things that you really enjoy.
If talking about your daily schedules starts getting monotone find out things that interest you both. Discuss movies, songs, series, books, games, conspiracy theories and pretty much anything under the sun till the time you both enjoy it.
And if there comes a day your plate is full of other important work, tell your partner politely. Make up for the lost time later in future, maybe the next day.
Trust your partner and make sure they know they can trust you
Let’s admit, we humans are very imaginative. We love connecting the dots and coming up with theories. In a long distance relationship this can become a very big problem because we start losing trust in somebody and start believing the stories we make. We start making meanings out of things that actually might not mean anything. He didn’t pick up the call because he must have been caught up with something or she was late because she was actually having a good time. These things are often to be taken at face value and not created meanings out of thin air.
Do NOT LIE to your partner
Once you lie for even a small little thing, it’s not going to be easy for your partner to trust you blindly. Your partner will have major trust issues with you which will make your life tough too. It’ll take time for your partner to trust you again, you need to understand and give them the space to process everything. But when you make a mistake, don’t try to justify it. Just simply accept and apologize, your partner loves you and so will definitely forgive you.
It’s okay to argue sometimes
It’s very normal to get into arguments once in a while, but then good relationships are not the ones where partners don’t fight. Good relationships are those where you don’t stretch matters and genuinely make an effort to solve the issues. Take your time and cool off to discuss what went wrong in a better way – also keep in mind that you and your partner are two different human beings who can process things differently, have a different outlook on the same subject. Respect that.
Know when to Quit
No matter how much you try there are times when somethings are just not meant to be. Know what you can cope with and what is something that absolutely doesn’t work with you. But don’t be too pushy about it. Be accommodating of your partner’s needs too. But if the sequences of breaking promises or shady activities increase beyond a point where it is completely not acceptable. You know it’s time.
While there can be no single solution for issues in relationships, doing these will surely take your relationship to the next level. We know this for a fact because over the 10 years of living in a long distance relationship ourselves we have not just unraveled the problems we dealt with but discussing the issues other couples also brought to light that these are common problems with people in long distance relationships
To make the mentioned steps more actionable here is a checklist:
- Discuss your schedules and goals with each other frequently and help each other achieve the same.
- Make two bucket lists – One short term and the other long term. Discuss and put everything that you want to do together, it’ll keep you excited.
- Be each other’s best friend before anything else. Open up and share your insecurities and worries. You never know, your partner might be able to help you get rid of it.
- Have fun together. Click pictures, make videos, write jokes, make doodles, play games or do whatever helps you enjoy but take up fun projects to do together.
- Always be honest with each other. If you have any difference in opinion make sure you put it across in a proper manner, it shouldn’t be demeaning at all.
- Plan your meetings well in advance. You can always plan for surprises too, but it will be easier to clear your schedules and spend time together if you know the dates.
Long distance relationships are tough and it takes genuine efforts from both parties to successfully go through it. Following the steps given above along with tweaks that work best for you can help you let your relationship become a bit more fun than a hectic task. Once partners strike a balance of expectations even the long distance becomes exciting. Share your experiences in the comment section below.